I used to be the one who instigated bouncing to the bars that had the latest last call ... then to the pizza place that stayed open til 4am to soak up all the alcohol.

And then, the next day, I would get up and run 10 miles before playing a matinee concert. 🫠

I had a destructive relationship with food, exercise, myself, and life in general.

I used to think that if I restricted calories to under 1200 a day, or ate fat-free, or no carbs, or processed-packaged-organic vegan frozen food, or ran 50+ miles a week, that somehow my life would start feeling better.

I used exercise as punishment for what I ate, or as permission to eat.

I thought that if I did all those things, my relationships would improve, I would look a certain way, and not feel constantly stressed, never enough, and always sad.

I have been there with disordered eating, digestive issues, eating my way through fad diets, dealing with awful allergies, feeling physically, mentally, emotionally pretty crappy the majority of the time ... and continually searching for answers and fixes outside of myself.

What I learned is that by going inside, becoming more and more deeply aware, conscious, mindful, every moment of every day ... from my own studies and through shamanic practices ... everything starts to shift for the better.

What had to shift for me was everything about how I lived.

I began including myself in my own life for the first time.

And now, I can say that I've figured out, not the easy way, how to live.

That includes all I eat, my relationship with food, my relationship with myself, how I exercise, how I choose to move through stressful situations, how I relate to everyone and everything ... literally every single thing.

It's all internal. And then it reflects directly into the external.

I didn't reach and exceed my health and weight goals until I shifted into basing my self trust, self worth, and inner value on my heart ... actually sensing, feeling, and knowing who I am. That's where the shift happened for me. Learning to hear my highest self, how to listen to my intuition, always living and making decisions from that space.

That's the place where your eating, weight, relationships, and life can start to really heal.